CONFUSED

 CONFUSED, that is the word I would describe my life with.

 

I come from a well-off family and as the only child, getting attention is easy for the most part.

When you get what you want most of the time it feels like magic.

But it also comes with downside such as not knowing what exactly you want.

And that happens in life as well. After failing to achieve anything in my 12^th boards

I aspired for medical studies and as most of us do, I too failed miserably.

Well, I didn’t get disappointed, but now after 2 years of failure and 6 months of Netflix and chill

I don’t know where to start.

I envy people that have a set goal in mind and are rushing towards their goals with whatever they have.

Even if their goal is to get an A in the exam, they have something which I lack.

The determination to do something.

Anything which I do, well most of it, feels unnecessary.

I miss the feeling of achieving something that I really wanted or doing something that I enjoy.

I watch my days drift away like a lost ship.

Relatives keep asking me what is my next goal is, and I answer them with an expression of extreme satisfaction “Let’s see how my graduation turns out, then I’ll decide".

But deep down I know my heart desires for a shore to put my anchors down at, a destination with which I can settle down for a bit and then set sail again.

If anyone reading this is going through the same thing then I just want to say that this shall pass too. And when we get past this, the sun will rise again. 

I guess by sharing all this I just want to give myself that push to get my ass off and do something to save my sinking heart.

 

Thanks for being with me till the end

Suraj

(PS- This is my first ever blog so judge all you want and do let me know in the comments.)